Ok, I reserve myself to being a casual blogger. Last one was a month ago, and I hadn't even touched on the millions of issues that I wish to write about. But all one can do is make an effort, correct?
So perhaps my ambitions are too high for my output. This is my own opinion. For a very long time, I feel, I have been quite lazy about making efforts. In a sense, I have felt worn out, overworked, under-appreciated, and unfulfilled. And it is my hope that that stone has been turned over. Since last October I have been going to a therapist (in RL) for a variety of reasons, primarily depression and angst towards my changing life. And since then, numerous events have changed in my life. My last therapy session was this past Tuesday, and by last I don't just mean my latest. It was my last session, for both my therapist and I feel I have developed the specific tools that I need to overcome my particular issues. I should only need to visit her if my depressions and anxieties are too overwelming for me for me to cope ably. Also these past few weeks, the department in which I work has had some major rennovations in how we the members deal with each other as individuals and as a team. At first, the consensus was that the activities we participated would be merely the latest attempt to fix an unfixable problem. It seemed to most of us the only remedy was an amputation of workers. This past week has been an eye opener for all of us in the department, I feel, and I think we may be on the right track.
I joined facebook, both in real life and for my SL persona. (you may request friendship, if you so wish. I don't think I'd turn anyone away) and i reunited with friends from WAAYY back.. and in a more reflective moment, I realized that the past is the past, and one cannot redo it, though one can learn from it.. That was also an important revelation that we came upon in our work rennovation.
And the future is and always will be malleable. The only certainty is death, but we cannot know the details of that. So what does that leave us? Obviously that leaves us only with the present. This is not a major world shaking revelation.. Countless generations have discovered this before I have, and I have known this before, as well. But sometimes it's important to return to the idea, you know, every once in a while, to help us find out where are feet are planted.
I know I have potential for great things, and I know that I have accomplished great things. I hope and expect to do great things in the future. But what makes them so great? there are manhy historical examples of people we nowadays consider "great", who themselves may have, in their own context have actually been pretty regular people who did the best they could. Thomas Edison, for example, was considered "addled" as a child, but he went on to change the entire 20th century. His first patent was a flop, and one of his inventions killed a man (the flouroscope). He was also deaf since the age of 12. Knowing these "failures" of such a highly esteemed man brings him off his pedestal a little bit, and makes him a bit more "human".
I make mistakes. Some I admit to and some I do not. And some I am aware of and some I am not. Being "great" doesn't mean infallible, nor does it mean being famous or acclaimed. There are millions, billions of great people in the past and in the present who go about their daily lives with no acknowledgement. One shouldn't be so worried about "greatness" as I often am. One should perhaps be more concerned about being and doing the best one can.
Is a little reminder to myself.