Thursday, October 7, 2010

Not what you may have expected.

Didn't go inworld again. Am having some problems connecting to SL lately. Not internet-connecting, but like soul-connecting. When I started, long time ago, I was in discovery mode. I was a hobo noob, and everything was so fresh and shiny. Then I stopped for a few months, and then gave it another shot (I blogged about that before May 22nd's entry), and it was like a rejuvenation. Of course, that rejuvenation was connected to my RL's changes, and SL was right for me at the time. It was needed. Things change like they always do, and there was a previous time when I didn't feel a need for SL, but I kept at it, and eventually it became a part of my scheduled habits. That's fine. I wasn't obsessed with it anymore, but it was just something I did. Some people watch TV, some people read books (I understand there are still people who read books), I played SL. No big deal.
Lately though, I've been kinda bored with it. I'm having a hard time finding paths of discovery there, and that was the splice of SL for me. It became a glorified chat room, where the same people came on and did the same things and talked about the same stuff and it was always the same.
I do have an issue that I am avoiding. And maybe that's why I'm hesitant to log in. It has to do with Opacus, my partner, and I don't know if I should delve into this issue here before I talk with him. I have to admit that I have been avoiding him, and checking to see if he's online before I log in. I don't want to say anything here, because what if he reads this and finds out this way rather than me talking with him direct. Also, I don't think that the topic is suitable for a blog like this. Rather personal, you know.
Yes. definitely. There's an elephant in the room and this is it. Must talk with him and clear this up. I hate confrontations, but this I must do.

Crap.. sucky blog entry. Sorry folks. Move along... here's a anatomical picture of the torso muscles. Blarg.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Two Months > Five Years

Tonight I'm not on SL. Personal choice. Most of my days end up with me sitting in front of the comp, moving Mr. Eel around, doing whatever he's into at the moment. (Current activity is the MHOH #4, not that he needs more stuff, but its about the ride) Last blog was what? Aug 19. My god I don't get on here very much. Considering that the last two months I have had more activity than in the previous five years.
So quick update: Aug 2, I quit working at the zoo. Spent the next four weeks getting the house ready to put on the market. Sept 2, moved to Twin Cities (Minnesota, home state) and am staying at my brother's house until I can establish myself. When the house sells, my wife and kids will also move up here. So, been spending the past month adjusting to new life. It's been strange, sometimes harrowing, emotion-wise, but I don't regret one single solitary bit. The only part I don't like is the intrinsic part of not seeing my kids on a daily basis. I miss them. I call every day. They miss me too. Hope the house sells soon.
Part of the readjustment is the hard reality of finding a job. Today's job market is tough. It's tough all over. Been sending out resumes left and right. Finally, this week I have three interviews lined up. I went to one today. It's a housing remodeller job. Taking crappy houses and flipping them. I can do that. Felt good about the interview. I could very well be starting next Monday. Fingers crossed. Two more interviews to go.
Since I'm not having any parental responsibilities right now, I'm taking advantage of this and have gone to regular notebook journalling and drawing. I've been very productive in both these. Most of my journalling has been seeped with self examination and figuring out what wrong with me. And that was fine, because I needed to do that, but now, I feel pretty confident about myself, and most of my problems are external, not internal. So I'm trying to move my journalling into writing about things that interest me. I was having a hard time making this transitions, because I kept writing about myself. So I set myself a little challenge. I bought a brand new notebook, and on the first page I wrote "The word 'I' is not to appear in this book," meaning that I have to force myself to get myself out of the personal reflective and into something more universal. Guess what? It worked. I filled five pages of substantial thoughts without referring to myself at all. No more "I believe this and this" "I think such and such". It's more solid and palatable. In a journal, of course it's what I think or believe, no need to write that. I also feel I wrote more content in fewer words. So there you go.
Maybe I should take this rule to this blog? Heh, ok, maybe. The idea came to me when I was writing all these cover letters for the resumes. I had some friends look at them, and one comment was "Use fewer "I" statements." Really, it's a cover letter, not a treatise on what I believe. So anyway. Less on that.
Well, it's late and I have to get some good sleep for tomorrow's interview. It's for a party place, they host weddings and so forth and need properties designed and built, I've done that before, I can do that again. I like doing that. So i'm going to bed. Good night!

PS Cartoon above stolen from another website, Will remove or credit if requested.