Wednesday, February 1, 2012

The Wyrm Turns....

Well, I suppose some updating need to be done. The Year of the Dragon for sure, it looks like.
I don't know who follows my little life escapades, my struggles and confusions that I've put on this blog. Not everything gets put up here, granted, but enough does to give a good skeleton of my make up.

We've come to a decision, my wife and I. And that is to stop pussy-footing around. She needs to move on, and I need to move on, and we simply cannot continue acting like a married couple when that is not what we are in our hearts. Once the taxes are done and we get our return, that money is earmarked for divorce proceedings. Hopefully it happens before May. We are filing for a no-fault divorce, and it looks like the only thing we'll need to do is file the paperwork, it will cost about $300. No lawyers need be present, all our business dealings will be personal between her and I.

In April, I am taking my son to Boston for a convention for a weekend. Simultaneously, my wife will be taking our daughter to Oklahoma to visit her folks and to visit her boyfriend. for about a week. Soon after she comes back perhaps a week later, her boyfriend will be coming to Pennsylvania, so that they can have a trial live in relationship. I will be going out to San Francisco to for once and all meet Steve in real life, whom I met in SL, and we have been together for more than a year, virtually. We will see how we work together in the real world. I'm very positive it will be excellent. After I return, and everything goes well between us, I will pack my belongings and move out to Oregon, where he lives. My wife and her boyfriend will sell the house and move back to Oklahoma for good.

I am very nervous about this, indeed. but I am also very excited. There is no way to know how anything will turn out, but we both are feeling pretty optimistic about it. The only thing that is causing me great worry is the kids. I love them so much and i will greatly miss them. The plan is that they will go to Oklahoma. When I am more settled in in Oregon, we will give the kids the option to stay with me if they like, but as I will be having the most unstable life, it's best they go with her.

Anyway, it looks like 2012 will definitely be a changing year for me and for those around me. Not that 2011 wasn't a dynamic year, But this year will definitely be different. I'm calling 2011 the warm up year.


GreggerMan said...

Wow, Leigh, this is so major it makes my crises seem mild by comparison. What an incredible turn of events. I really hope for your sake this new relationship with a man you have never met in the flesh works out.

Relationships, as you well know, are the most difficult things we willingly enter into in this sometimes painful life. Try not to set yourself up for bitter disappointment.

I got a no fault divorce from my ex-wife. It was cheaper in 2002. Fortunately, we did not have children together though I had been a stepfather to 3 teenagers.

I would make absolutely sure that the documents you fill out state in no uncertain terms that you share joint custody with your soon-to-be-ex wife of the children and that no one can make claims against your rights as their father.

Oklahoma is a solid Red State, while Oregon is as Blue as Washington, were I live. Judging by the elected officials of OK I would say the supposed "voices of reason" are anti-gay bigots who work to keep gay or bisexual parents away from their children.

Despite all of the above warnings, I wish you great happiness in your new relationship and the best possible results for such a major change.


Rammy said...

hello Leigh - I am sending my best wishes to you in your challenges that are in front of you.

Well I guess we never know what the future will bring but one thing is for sure and that is that you are NOT having a boring life.

When I was a kid I never liked coloring books, you know those books where kids color a part of a picture inside the lines. Some kids would be very protective of their coloring books (AKA CB's - not to be confused with CB radio) and would not let "abstract expressionist" influenced kids touch their illuminated manuscripts.

I think that for me my theory is to live a life that is not "inside the lines" and that when you join the NITL (not inside the lines) lifestyle, things have a weird way of working out.

Please accept my good wishes and blessing.